A Mother’s Love Never Dies

Ryan and Connor bought Mother’s Day flowers for me at the last AWANA Store Night.  They were so excited when they picked them up and presented them to me following AWANA on Sunday.  They were very secretive, whispering behind my back, rushing me out of their meeting rooms, and smiling way too big… and since I volunteer at AWANA, I knew what was up… but don’t tell them, because it was still a lovely Mommy-moment when they handed me the flowers, grinning ear to ear, asking repeatedly, “Did you know?,”  “Are you surprised?,” “Do you like the flower I picked out for you?”

Mother’s Day is less than a week away, and as my boys are conspiring to decide on that perfect Mother’s Day gift, the one I am sure I will love as much as I love the little boys with the big hearts who are creating it, I think about my own Mom, a loving, caring, giving mother, for whom Mother’s Day is, and forever more will be, a day of sorrow.

While for many women Mother’s Day is a day of joy, a celebration of the wonder of being a mother, a day of flowers, handmade gifts, and sticky kisses, for some, Mother’s Day may very well be one of the most difficult days of the year… and my Mom is one of these mothers.  For while I know she loves me, and  she absolutely adores the boys, there is a hole in her heart… a hole once filled by the love for a son.

One year ago on Mother’s Day, my mother sat in a funeral home planning a funeral for my brother, her son. For my mother, Mother’s Day will never again be a carefree day of laughter, smiles, and hugs.. . instead it is a day marked by tears, unrealized dreams, and bittersweet memories, and try as I might, there is nothing I can do to change that, although I do so wish there was!

There is a post circulating on Facebook this week.  It states that May 1-7 is Recognizing a Mother’s Strength After Losing A Child Week.  I couldn’t find anything beyond the Facebook posts to validate this statement, but whether or not this a properly-sanctioned week, I think it’s one worth mentioning.  I can’t imagine going on day after day without one of my boys.  I can’t fathom the strength required to live on knowing that the child you brought into this world, worried over, rejoiced with, and loved more than anything else on God’s earth will not walk through the door, throw his arms around you, and with a twinkle in his eye, grin and say, “Hello, Blossom!”  For while a Mother’s love never dies, her heart can certainly be broken beyond repair.

So, today, for my Mother, and all of the other mothers who have lost a child, at any age,  I say I do recognize the strength behind each and every step you take each and every day, and since wishing you a “Happy Mother’s Day” seems to me all wrong, I will wish you a “Blessed Day of Memories and Dreams:”  memories of happier times in the past, and dreams of that day in the future when you will again be together with your beloved child. 

How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty!

My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD;

my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.

Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself,
       where she may have her young — a place near your altar,
       O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.

Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you.